Bluestar's Prophecy Spoof
Prouluge Bluestar: Oh help I'm drowning in jelly beans and squirrels! (Coughs) Oakheart: I would save you, but you're not a kit, and the warrior code says to save kits. Bluestar: JUST GIVE ME ADVIE ALREADY!!!!! Oakheart: Fiiiiine. It's like eating. Let your jaw do the work. And how you can screech at me under all that mess, I don't know. NOW SHUT UP AND LET ME SLEEP! Bluestar: (eats furiously) Fireheart: Even though you broke the warrior code and tried to ditch StarClan, I'LL SAVE YOU! (jumps in) AHHHH! Too yummy! Save yourself! (teleports out) Mistyfoot and Stonefur: (saves Bluestar) You are now in our dept! Bluestar: (weakly) Please...forgive...me... Mistyfoot and Stonefur: No. Bluestar: FORGIVE ME OR I'LL MAUL YOU UNTIL THE NEXT GATHERING!!!!!! Mistyfoot and Stonefur: AAHHH! OKAY! WE FORGIVE YOU!!!! Bluestar: Thanks. (Goes to StarClan) Chapter 1 Swiftbreeze: Why hasn't she opened her eyes? Moonflower: Let my daughter who can hear us and smell me sleep. Swiftbreeze: But your totally un-important kit opened hers and the best kits who are mine opened theirs when they were born. That makes them magical! Poppydawn: No one can compete with your two, as one of them will have the kit of the main villain of the first arc. Snowkit: (Pokes Bluekit) Wake up already! Moonflower isn't letting me outside without you. Moonflower: Shut up Snowkit and let her sleep. Patchkit: You be my prey and I will catch you! Leopardkit: But I was a mouse last time! Patchkit: No you weren't! You were a jellybean! Leopardkit: Jellybeans taste nice!!!!!!!!!!! Patchkit: Fine, you be the warrior, and I won't be something made by Twolegs. Leopardkit: WAIT- I ATE TWOLEG FOOD! (Throws up) Patchkit: EWWWWWWWW (Throws up) Random warrior: (Throws up) Bluekit: (Wakes up) Oi, un-important sister! Wake up! Snowkit: Yes future warrior code breaker? Bluekit: What? Snowkit: Oh- nevermind. Oh look, your eyes are open, now we can go and harass warriors! Bluekit: Yeah! Poppydawn: Don't go too far and get run over by a monster! Bluekit and Snowkit: What? Poppydawn: (Is asleep and snoring) Bluekit: Where are snorysnore's kits? Snowkit: They arent born yet. (Climbs over Moonflower) Bluekit: (Follows) Moonflower: Where are you going! Bluekit: Outside so we can see big cats and watch Leopardkit and Patchkit clean up their sick! Moonflower: K. Bluekit and Snowkit: LETS GO! (Runs out before Moonflower can lick them but trip and fall in the sick) MOOOONNNNFLOWWWEEERRRRR!!! Moonflower: (Licks them) Do you want me to make sure you dont slip again? Bluekit: NEVERRRR! (Runs out again) Moonflower: Don't harass warriors, don't split up and don't go under that bu- Snowkit: Yeah yeah (Runs out after Bluekit) Bluekit: AAHHHH TOO SUNNY! Goosefeather: Go to WindClan, Heatherstar is selling sunglasses! Bluekit: I don't have any money! Moonflower: (Throws wallet) Bluekit: (Runs to WindClan and buys sunglasses) Bluekit: Where are sick kits? Snowkit: I dunno but look at the food! Goosefeather: Bluekit... You will be killed by a squirrel.... Bluekit: Shut up and shove over. Snowkit: BLUEKIT! WATCH OUT! Bluekit: AHHHH PIANO! Snowkit: No.. THE SQUIRREL! Bluekit: AHH! Patchkit: Oi, small kits! Bluekit: Yeah? Snowkit: Shouldn't you be cleaning sick? Patchkit: SHHHHH! Does Moonflower know you are outside? Snowkit: Unfortunatly. Leopardkit: Let's show you around and no you don't have a choice. Random warrior: AHHHH PIANO! (Goes to StarClan) Patchkit: That is the apprentices den. We will be living there in a moon. Leopardkit: I can't wait! We can have slumber parties and talk about guys and put on make up and- Uhh... Dapplepaw: Once you start taking orders you have to buy your own make up. Leopardkit: I'm showing the two new kits around the camp even though Bluekit doesn't want me too! And they didn't have a choice! Dapplepaw: Cool! I'm going to give you a taste of your own medicine. Goosefeather: YOU HAVE BEEN IN MY DEN? Dapplepaw: Shut up old cat. I'm going to teach you hunting! Bluekit: This is boring. BYE! Snowkit: I want to stay but bossy mc bossy pants is going. BYE! Bluekit: Go away! Snowkit: Mummy said to stay together. Bluekit: Fine. But you have to buy me some food from mc kittys! Snowkit: Later. Stonepelt: GET OUT OF THIS DEN IT'S MINE! Wait- you are Moonflower's kits. Bluekit: I'm the important one, Bluekit, and this is my plot filler sister, Snowkit. Stonepelt: I'm Stonepelt, are you looking for the father that doesn't care about you? Snowkit and Bluekit: What? Stonepelt: Nothing! Snowkit: Is he here? Stonepelt: He is hunting for coins. Bluekit: We don't wanna find him now you said that. We were hiding from sick cats! Stonepelt: Are they skiving off? Snowkit: Y- Bluekit: SHUT UP! Yes actually. Stonepelt: Bluekit, because you told me you get kitty coins. And Snowkit because you didn't make an attempt you don't get anything! Bluekit: WOOP! Stonepelt: I'm going to go and whip them. Snowkit: Did we have to hide in here? Bluekit: Shut up plot hog! And Moonflower didn't tell us. Snowkit: She did but I silenced her. Bluekit: It's your fault! Oh look, another place we will get in trouble! Snowkit: It's a den! Bluekit: Ok! You go in so I don't get in trouble! Featherwhisker: That is Pinestar's den. Hello Bluekit. Don't ask I'm physic! I'm a medicine cat. Don't go in. Bluekit: IT WAS SNOWKIT'S IDEA! Featherwhisker: Go and be whipped RIGHT NOW! Bluekit you can hear an awesome story! Bluekit: HA! Featherwhisker: (Takes to elders den) Now I'm going to abandon you so I can get some mouse stuff! Larksong: Oh look! I'm the only one who noticed that there are kits here! What are your names? Bluekit: I'm the important one, Bluekit, and this my plot filler sister Snowkit. Wait, YOU AREN'T BEING WHIPPED! (Kicks her away) Larksong: I'm going to teach you gibberish! Everyone: (Speaks gibberish) Mumblefoot: I'm Mumblefoot, and I have a weird name. Now go to bed! Moonflower: What did you see? Bluekit: Everything! Plus I got coins and Snowkit got whipped! Moonflower: Not everything you aren't that big. One day you can. Snowkit: How big is the world? Moonflower: Huge. Snowkit: Will my legs grow? Moonflower: No. Snowkit: (Snores) Bluekit: HA! SHE SN- (Snores as sleeps) Chapter 2 Moonflower: Hold still you drowned rats so I can lick you! Snowkit: (goes in corner and cries) Bluekit: Now look what you did! Moonflower: Fine I'll apologize if that's what you want. Bluekit: You're apologizing for MY sake?! (Morphes into Godzilla) ROOOOAAAAAAARRRR!!! Moonflower: AAAAHHH! OKAY! I WANT TO APOLOGIZE!! Bluekit: (Morphes back to normal) Better. Moonflower: Snowkit, I'm sorry for calling you a drowned rat. Snowkit: (Stops crying and comes out of corner) Yay! Stormtail: (comes into camp with a Husky) Hey, look what I found! ThunderClan: IIIEEE! (hides) Pinestar: ... Stormtail: (sees Husky) Oh, that? He's a stuffed animal. ThunderClan: Whew! (comes out) Stormtail: Anyways, look at what I caught! (shows everyone a dinosaur) ThunderClan: ... Stormtail: What? Moonflower: Stormbaby Foo-foo, look at what I made! Stormtail: ... (sees kits) Oh those? Eh I don't want them because of three reasons! Moonflower: Hey! It took me a long time to make those! (goes in corner and sulks) Bluekit and Snowkit: Big daddy foo-foo, look at our shades! (puts on Lady Gaga sunglasses) Stormtail: ... Pinestar: (Presses button) Button: This is awkward. Moonflower: (Stops sulking) Tell me the three reasons you don't want them! Stormtail: Ok! One, because Bluekit falls in love with a RiverClan warrior. Two, because they're ugly. Three, because I'm in love with Dapplepaw! (shares tongues with Dapplepaw) Moonflower: WWWHHHAAAHHH!! Snowkit: Let's go eat herbs that'll probably kill us! Bluekit: Okay! Bluekit: (eats yarrow) BBBLLEEEAARRGGGHH!!! (vomits: wipes mouth) Your turn! Snowkit: Okay! (eats 555,000,000,000,000,000,000,001 poppy seeds) yummy! Moonflower: (sees Beachball Snowkit) NNOOO! I HAS A FAT BALL FOR A KIT! AND SHE'S GONNA DIE! Goosefeather: How many poppy seeds did you eat? Snowkit: Only 555,000,000,000,000,000,000,001. Goosefeather: She'll be fine. I eat that many every day to live up to my laziness career! Moonflower: ... Bluekit: Snowkit, I'm gonna wreak havoc on Tokyo as Godzilla! Wanna come? Snowkit: YYAAYY! Can I be Rodan? Bluekit: Sure! (Three days later) Bluekit: III'MMM BAAACK! Moonflower: What happened to Snowkit? Bluekit: She fell asleep and flew into the water. Moonflower: Cool. (teleports and saves Snowkit) Snowkit: (Snores) Bluekit: (Whacks with a tree) WAKE UP! Snowkit: (wakes) NO! I don't wanna th-oh,it's you. Bluekit: Who'd you think it was? Snowkit: Starstar, the leader of StarClan. Bluekit: Awesome I guess? Snowkit: Meh. Let's find a Twoleg and kill it! Bluekit: Hooray! Snowkit: Tomorrow, okay? Bluekit: Sure. (They fall asleep: wake up and ditch idea) Bluekit: Let's go to ShadowClan! Snowkit: Nah. Bluekit: Okay. Goodnight! Snowkit: Byeeee! (They fall asleep. Again) Bluekit: (Sneaks out and mauls Cedarstar: sneaks back) Cedarstar: (wakes up mauled) OOOOOWWW!!!!!! Bluekit: Hehehe! Snowkit: Did you maul Cedarstar? Bluekit: Yyyyyeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhh... Snowkit: Awesome! Can I maul Stonetooth? Bluekit: No. Snowkit: Let's bother the elders for stories! Bluekit: Or let's buy fish! Snowkit: Can we get salmon? Bluekit: Sure! Oh Piiinestar? can I borrow twenty bucks? Pinestar: Meh. (gives money) Bluekit: (buys all the salmon on Earth: has three dollars change) Bluekit: (gives change to Pinestar) Here you go! Pinestar: Thank you! Bluekit: (eats half the salmon) Snowkit: (eats other half of the salmon) Now let's bother the elders for stories! Bluekit: Meh. Ok. (They run to the elder's den and poke them all until they tell them stories) Larksong: And then- Snowkit: (Falls asleep) Mumblefoot: So I- Bluekit: (falls asleep) Mumblefoot: Well that took care of that! Larksong: How did you get that story? Mumblefoot: Easy! I stalked a Twoleg until he told me that story! Larksong: Very simple indeed! Pinestar: Thundercats come here! ThunderClan: (gathers) Pinestar: Ok, Leopardkit and Patchkit, come forward. Leopardkit and Patchkit: (does somersaults to Pinestar) Pinestar: Ok, blah, blah, blah, random words, blah, blah, blah, blah, you're Leopardpaw and Patchpaw! You can choose your mentors. ThunderClan: (reluctantly) Leopardpaw. Patchpaw. Leopardpaw. Patchpaw. Bluekit and Snowkit: (fall asleep) Chapter 3 Bluekit: Oh look a butterfly! (Jumps on it but it turns into Goosefeather) Goosefeather Butterfly: YOU WILL DIE OF JELLY BEANS! Bluekit: Get out of my dream you loony! (Sneezes and wakes up) GO AWAY FLUFFY TAIL! Snowkit get off I'm hot and I need to be cool to make this story awesome! Snowkit: (Gasp) YOU'RE HOT GREAT AND POWERFUL ONE! (Gets ice pack and pool) Bluekit: Slave! Lemonade! Snowkit: Yes ma'am! (Goes to make lemonade) Bluekit: Man, having Snowkit as a slave is awesome! Snowkit: Here is your lemonade. Bluekit: OTHER SLAVES! Thistlekit, Sweetkit, Rosekit, Goldenkit and Lionkit: Yes ma'am? Bluekit: MASSAGE! (All of them turn into Goosefeather) Goosefeather kits: YOU WILL DIE OF JELLY BEANS! (Bluekit wakes up) Bluekit: I'm going to escape because I don't care if my Clan wakes up. Sunfall: Hey kit! Do you want to come out of the camp to see the territory without your attention hog sister? It's totally against the warrior code but who cares!! Bluekit: Sure! Sunfall: Come up the lift! (Walks into lift.) Bluekit: (Jumps in after Sunfall) Lift: What do you want to listen too? Bluekit: GANGNAM STYLE! Lift: Ok! (Plays Gangnam Style) Sunfall: We are nearly there! Lift: You have now reached the forest! OUT! (Kicks the cats out) Bluekit: Oh look, a helicopter! (Jumps in) Sunfall: Bluekit... Bluekit: (Crashes helicopter into a tree) Sunfall: =O MAI HELICOPTER! (Cries) BACK TO CAMP! NOW! Category:Spoof Category:Tiger's Fanfiction Category:Whitefoot&Tigerstripe's Fan Fictions